Sunday, January 1, 2012 8:50 AM
Spare a thought for me.
Happy New Year, earthlings.
Well, I feel really pissed off now, not exactly the best way to start 2012. Lets start things off with my family.
So, I'm wanted back home for New Year's eve. I'm not allowed to go out with my friends, not allowed to meet anyone. Reason? Simply because my dad wants to spend New year's eve and countdown with me. Ok, understood.
Then what did we do yesterday? We fucking rot at home with nothing to do, you guys just watch your fucking tv and did your own stuff, laze around. It was a fucking wasted day hello?
I waited and waited for something to happen, waited for us to go out, I thought you had some plans, but it all turned out to be nothing. Like, thanks so much for bringing my hopes up, for making me look forward to yesterday, thinking that we'd really have something that we could do together. Thinking that we could finally have fun, really be a family. Fuck it.
So I spent the whole day on the computer, with nothing else I could do except for letting the fact that This new year's eve is pretty much screwed sink in.
I hate it. I hate on how we used to wait till countdown starts, and try to annoy every single resident in our condo by screaming 'Happy New Year' at the top of our lungs. I hate how during Christmas, we used to stay up till 2AM in the morning and exchange presents, and I'd receive cards from everyone. This Christmas? What did we have? Yea everyone had a hell lot of sleep, while I waited for Christmas to come by myself. Rushing back from kallang, all the way home, only to see your own family just sleeping and lazing around at like, 9plus.
What can I do? Wait lor, wait till midnight come like some pathetic fuck, just like yesterday night. It was the worst feeling ever, letting all the past memories of Christmas and New year wash over me, and facing the cold hard truth that none of you bothers about it anymore.
Slept at 3AM. Had friends texting me that they're having family dinner, so on and so forth. Tell me, what did we have? Oh ya, okay lor, settle dinner outside like an everyday thing, then go home watch tv.
Sigh. Right now, I can only try to console myself with one thing. I got over you already.
I no longer think of you whenever I wake up, I no longer feel bothered by the fact that I'm single, without you. 2012 is going to be a year without you, followed by the rest of my life. Our paths will never cross again, and I wish you all the best.
Have no plans for tomorrow. I want to make plans but my mood's just all screwed up now. I hope it gets better as the day passes.
Happy New Year.
Love,
Natalie Ishot
