So what's it like, to fall in love with a complete stranger?

Currently talking to Xe before he flies off. Feeling much better.

Cried a little as I told him how I felt.

It's amazing how you'll always feel better after someone hears you out.

So, Thank you, Dave.

Keep in mind, that health comes before anything else. Don't do anything silly like going for a drive at night, when you're having a hot hot hot hot fever.

Eat lots and lots of sushi over there, cause that's what I love. Sushi. <3

So you'll be taking my place, on eating the best food on earth. Don't let me down aye! (:

Stay safe, rest well. Don't make me nag anymore, I don't wanna get old, I'm too young. 2young4old.

Thank you again, Hun. (:

I'll wait for your return!

More than anything else.

Love,
Natalie Ishot






What hurts the most was being so close.

Hello earthlings.

Just had a haircut yesterday, I think my fringe looks weird now, cause apparently, the hairstylist wanted to make me look like a Korean pop star without my permission. Aye, I'm happy with being Natalie Ishot, I don't want to be some Korean star wannabe. But oh well, it'd grow back.

I dyed my hair, it's colour is Mocha Orange, it looks natural on me, I love it, but I kinda miss my super black hair now, end of story.

Pictures below were after I've dyed my hair, but before the haircut.

Now to what I wanna talk about today.

Why does this even fucking feel like a break up when we're not even together?

Why do I feel like a part of me has been taken away, and right now, I'm here, feeling so empty?

I wish that you'd understand of how I'm feeling. You say that you've seen the clearest picture, but really, love, it's not like that. It's not.

Sigh.

You're probably asleep. I hope that your cough and flu is getting better.

I'm tired.

Reading the texts you've sent, over and over again, with a heavy heart, hoping that you'd see what I'm trying to say, because you've got it wrong.

It was never, ever, a conclusion.

I wish you were here. I wish you were here to just embrace me in your arms, and just tell me that everything's gonna be alright.

But, if this is the only way you'll ever be able to figure out your feelings, then so be it. Friends.

Maybe, I need to learn to be independent as well. I need to learn to solve my own problems, before I can even help anyone else.

Xe, have a safe trip. I'll see you soon.

I love you.

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Tuesday, January 24, 2012 11:17 AM

I wanna wake up next to you, every single day.

Good morning, and happy chinese new year to the earth.

I'm pretty tired from all the visiting, it seems like my dad has thousands of relatives, but its worth it, seeing so many people that you don't get to see often!

Attended Joyce's birthday party last Friday, it felt really good seeing her again.

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Wednesday, January 18, 2012 11:23 PM

Unexpected feelings.

Today was an relatively busy day at work, and I finally got to work with my employer, Jessie. She was pretty nice to me, unexpectedly. I thought that I was in for a lot of scoldings today, but the closest to a scolding was her smiling and calling me 'cute' because I put the banana pieces one by one when I could just slide them through.

She left at 6PM, I worked till 10:30PM.

Oh. And first love visited me at work today with his friends. He didn't buy anything though, I think he went to play pool and just came by to visit. It surprised me, seeing that familiar face through the crowd. Didn't quite know how to react.

Feel guilty towards my baby cause I think I've neglected her due to work. Everyday I wake up tired and aching, and I hurriedly walk her as I have to rush for work. I come back at night just to wash up and sleep.

I don't even have time to play with her, and I only felt guilty when Narisa brought her along to fetch me back home from work, and my baby whined for me to carry her when she saw me.

I'm sorry Hazel, mummy's gonna sleep with you on the living room sofa tonight to make up for it.

Hate the stupid decision my dad made to keep dogs away from our room.

I miss sleeping with baby.

Shall stop here now, tomorrow's waiting for me.

A face that took me so long to forget.

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Maybe, I need you.

Currently on the MRT, on the way to work.

It's funny how our feelings work. One moment we can fall head over heels in love with someone, then in the next moment, you could hate the same person that you used to love so much.

I don't like to hate people. But in today's society, there's just too many hypocrites, too many critics. People hate each other for the lousiest reasons.

I like to love. Do you know the feeling of being loved? Just you, being showered with love, knowing that you mean so much to one person, that's a blessing.

But, not everyone would return your love. It's still not an excuse to stop loving though. At least, whoever you're loving, knows that he stands somewhere in someone's life.

That's enough for me.

I have to admit, sometimes, it can be pretty lonely for me. I honestly miss the times where I had someone to say 'I Love You' to, and to have someone to love me on the same level as I love him.

I miss having someone to myself, having someone I can call mine. I miss those boyfriend hugs, I miss those random kisses on the cheeks, the way those eyes look at you, telling you that you mean the world to them.

Shall stop here now, my stop's coming up. And speaking of MRTs, I just remembered someone whom hates public transport to the core.

Have a good time over there, I'll see you online on Saturday night amor.

What's stopping us?

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Sunday, January 15, 2012 4:15 PM

Fight for yourself.

Hello earthlings, I've finally the mood to update my blog. I've been working for these few days, and it's been taking a toll on me. My eye bags, ohmygod. Can use as red packet to put money already.

Anyway, today just feels like an lazy, tired, just-wanna-sleep Sunday. I want to play AuditionSEA, but the patch screwed up in my computer. Tried Downloading the game itself again, but the same problem keeps occurring.

Sorry to ~Pornography as he has to do all the gardening and play alone, I feel really bad. ): I'll try to fix the game asap okay?

And if Xe's still reading my blog, Imma fix my computer reaaaaaal soon, wait for me.

Sigh, gotta do something about my body clock. I don't feel tired till 2-3PM, and I wake up at 10plus instead of my usual 7. Poor Hazel has to control her bladder until I'm washed up and ready to walk her.

OH. My poor grandpa, he thought that I've quit school and decided to make crepes forever, he almost had an heart attack. Can you imagine that?

CrepeGirl95.

Hans dropped by yesterday to visit and support us, thanks Hans! (:

Went for work, work was super crowded. There were so many things I had to juggle with, and time just passes like nobody's business. I seriously enjoy my job. Seriously.

Ned's Crepes @ Bugis Street LEVEL 2 #02-07

Come support okay, <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="br">
Okay, now I just feel like sleeping. I shall go and sleep soon, and hope that my eye bags will just disappear. -_-

Have the sudden urge to play Harvestmoon, shall install it into my PSP later on.

Sleepover on Friday, weeeee! <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="br">
And Joyce's birthday! (:

I miss her like loadsssss. Im gonna hug her so tight when I see her.

Okay, time for a nap.

Bye earthlings! (:

I'd fight for you too.

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Wednesday, January 11, 2012 9:48 PM

Maybe, maybe not.

Today's not a good day.

Work was fun, thanks to Kenneth and Caroline for teaching me on how to make the crepes and how to serve them properly. (: And Caroline said she'll miss me, ohmygod, like sweet much. <3

My crepes are not for sale though, they're not a perfect circle. In fact, their shape represents a backside. Gotta improve on that. Elina came today, she's new and she's so cute, I swear. I barely know her, but I'm glad to have her working here already. Amira taught her cashiering. (:

Not supposed to work tomorrow, but I'm needed there till 5:30PM cause only Gabriel is there with the newbies tomorrow. I'm a newbie too. I only learnt soft crepes today, my crispy crepes, I already said look like backside already. Have to master the perfect circle shape of the crepe, can't keep asking people to help me make. And I can't possibly serve backside crepes.

Sort of nervous, cause Gabriel will be there tomorrow. HAHA. Kidding much.

Anyway, Let's move on to another topic.

I feel like shit.

You know, I've always wondered on why I'm always the one being hurt most, when I try so hard to make things work out. Maybe, I've just been trying too hard. Maybe, I'm just wrong and stupid, trying to prove people that there is something that's called forever.

Firstly, there's my best friend from my primary school. Despite promises to keep in touch, despite my several suggestions for an outing because I miss her, despite my hundreds of phone calls just to catch up with her, despite every single shit that I've done, I get turned down simply because she was too busy. I'm busy too. But I made time for you, despite new Friends, new school, new timetables. What makes us different? Oh. I forgot. I got replaced with someone else from your school. Okay, thanks, I get it. So I try for 2 years, Consistent phone calls, suggestions, to get turned down, and finally, reality hits. I lost my best friend, the one whom understood me most, who was there when I faced family crisis, whom I stood beside for when her dad was retrenched. Thanks. For replacing me. Friendship doesn't last forever, I get it now.

Secondly, my first love. The one that I'd never forget, the one that left the biggest scar on me, the one that brought me to the biggest rebound phrase ever. I was in secondary school, he graduated and entered poly. What happened after that? The good morning texts, the I miss you texts, the goodnight texts, they were all forgotten. Basketball, new friends, badminton, everything else replaced me. I was left with miserable texts that only told me of why you were busy. My texts, desperately telling you of how I missed you, how I loved you and wanted us to just, have a little time together, they were all completely ignored. Eventually, the relationship ended. Not because I stopped loving you, but because you've stopped trying while I tried so hard. I was hurt for the longest period of time. Why do I even bother to try when you're not trying? I try only to get hurt, I try only to get replaced and dumped along somewhere else. So, love isn't supposed to last forever too.

Then now what? Is life trying to tell me that as long as there's a change of environment, a change of your social circle, just a slight change of anything, and a relationship can fade away or be destroyed?

I believe so much, only to be slapped on the face. So many times, I can barely breathe anymore. Maybe, I'm just wrong. Wrong from the start.

Every Relationship will never ever stay strong, and they will only fade in time and changes. No matter how hard one tries, her try is futile.

She doesn't need constant reminders anymore.

She gets the whole picture now.

Side Notes

Congratulations on our Love Party today, me and ChengXuan has reached the Saffron Ring. See you online tomorrow, let's work hard. 

And I wanna say Hi to Xe, in case he's reading this. Don't worry, I'm doing fine, concentrate on being a good dentist. And don't go to England please!

That's all for today.

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Sunday, January 8, 2012 11:08 PM

The love never dies.

Hi, I have a couple called ~Pornography in AuditionSEA.

He's the cutest couple like ever.

Know why?

While gardening, he accidentally scraped away one of our blooming plants by accident.

Imagine my shock when I realised that one of my plants were missing, tsk.

This totally made me laugh.

Thanks for the laugh, I was having a pretty rough day.

Good luck for your results tomorrow, and I'll see you online tomorrow night! (:

04/01/2012

Lets LP asap!

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Wednesday, January 4, 2012 8:47 PM

I wanna call you mine.

Hello people. (:

 It was pretty tiring as I slept late last night.

Why? Because I've been talking to the Bimbotic Judith till 2AM.

Lunch was at TPY Lorong 4. Steve and Hubert had fish soup, while me, Judith and Benjamin had chicken rice. One of the best I've eaten, no joke.

We then went on to Macdonalds as Hubert owed me an ice cream.

McFlurry <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="br">
After that, we played Monopoly Deal all the way till 5:30PM, and I went on to Dhoby Gaut to meet my family for dinner. (:

Oh. And I won my first ever game of Monopoly Deal! Happy much! (:

Hans is back from Indonesia by the way! Welcome back! 

Next thing I wanna talk about would be Monday.

Monday totally turned out to be what I did not expect. Life is full of surprises!

This one is for Sherman. He just texted me to mention his cuteness on my blog. Thick skin much, haha! (:

Hi Sherman, You're damn cute and crazy can? Especially those photos from yesterday! I love you 弟弟! 

Insecurity is the ugly one, not you.

Love,
Natalie Ishot

Monday, January 2, 2012 9:30 AM

You wanna talk about sense and logic? Fine. Let's do it.

What's wrong with you? Or if you want to put it in your terms, what's wrong with me?

Nothing's wrong with me, you're the one that's going through PMS every single day and venting your anger at me, hello?

I don't understand of why do you have to shout at me for the littlest of things, and get angry at the most nonsensical things like dog food and all. Yea then speaking of dog food, yes I feel like your dog now, for you to just boss around and shout at.

Oh, and for the sake of the whole family to be happy and live their happily ever after lives, I have to shut up, and let everything fume in my head, smile like a bimbo, pretend I like to be shouted at. Smart much, no? I think it's such a smart plan.

You want to talk about me going out on the last day of Narisa's holiday, okay let's talk fuck much about it.

Do you have any plans on for today a not? Are you sure that we're not just gonna rot at home like Christmas and New Year?

I won't bother sparing a thought for anything, because I know that everyone will be staying at home doing their own things. And please don't teach Narisa to be a bitch like you. She's whining and whining and whining and fucking whining even more just because you implanted the thought of me going out without her on the last day of her holiday. She was totally okay with it until you had to manipulate her.

Don't tell me that something's wrong with my attitude or I'm being rebellious and all when I all ever did was try to reason things out while you just sit there, shaking your legs and think that it's right for you to say and do whatever you want. Hello, in case you forgot, I'm human, I have feelings, and I get hurt.

But you probably won't ever get that, cause even when I talk to you nicely, you'll always have to put me down, you 'll always be in the right. Cause you're just oh so righteous and correct and wise and experienced. Sorry, I didn't notice that.

So here's my thoughts and views, if you want me to send a fucking perfect essay to you, here it is, with all my love and respect for you.

With so much love,
Natalie Ishot

Sunday, January 1, 2012 8:50 AM

Spare a thought for me.

Happy New Year, earthlings.

Well, I feel really pissed off now, not exactly the best way to start 2012. Lets start things off with my family.

So, I'm wanted back home for New Year's eve. I'm not allowed to go out with my friends, not allowed to meet anyone. Reason? Simply because my dad wants to spend New year's eve and countdown with me. Ok, understood.

Then what did we do yesterday? We fucking rot at home with nothing to do, you guys just watch your fucking tv and did your own stuff, laze around. It was a fucking wasted day hello?

I waited and waited for something to happen, waited for us to go out, I thought you had some plans, but it all turned out to be nothing. Like, thanks so much for bringing my hopes up, for making me look forward to yesterday, thinking that we'd really have something that we could do together. Thinking that we could finally have fun, really be a family. Fuck it.

So I spent the whole day on the computer, with nothing else I could do except for letting the fact that This new year's eve is pretty much screwed sink in.

I hate it. I hate on how we used to wait till countdown starts, and try to annoy every single resident in our condo by screaming 'Happy New Year' at the top of our lungs. I hate how during Christmas, we used to stay up till 2AM in the morning and exchange presents, and I'd receive cards from everyone. This Christmas? What did we have? Yea everyone had a hell lot of sleep, while I waited for Christmas to come by myself. Rushing back from kallang, all the way home, only to see your own family just sleeping and lazing around at like, 9plus.

What can I do? Wait lor, wait till midnight come like some pathetic fuck, just like yesterday night. It was the worst feeling ever, letting all the past memories of Christmas and New year wash over me, and facing the cold hard truth that none of you bothers about it anymore.

Slept at 3AM. Had friends texting me that they're having family dinner, so on and so forth. Tell me, what did we have? Oh ya, okay lor, settle dinner outside like an everyday thing, then go home watch tv.

Sigh. Right now, I can only try to console myself with one thing. I got over you already.

I no longer think of you whenever I wake up, I no longer feel bothered by the fact that I'm single, without you. 2012 is going to be a year without you, followed by the rest of my life. Our paths will never cross again, and I wish you all the best.

Have no plans for tomorrow. I want to make plans but my mood's just all screwed up now. I hope it gets better as the day passes.

Happy New Year.

Love,
Natalie Ishot