Wednesday, January 11, 2012 9:48 PM
Maybe, maybe not.
Today's not a good day.
Work was fun, thanks to Kenneth and Caroline for teaching me on how to make the crepes and how to serve them properly. (: And Caroline said she'll miss me, ohmygod, like sweet much. <3
My crepes are not for sale though, they're not a perfect circle. In fact, their shape represents a backside. Gotta improve on that. Elina came today, she's new and she's so cute, I swear. I barely know her, but I'm glad to have her working here already. Amira taught her cashiering. (:
Not supposed to work tomorrow, but I'm needed there till 5:30PM cause only Gabriel is there with the newbies tomorrow. I'm a newbie too. I only learnt soft crepes today, my crispy crepes, I already said look like backside already. Have to master the perfect circle shape of the crepe, can't keep asking people to help me make. And I can't possibly serve backside crepes.
Sort of nervous, cause Gabriel will be there tomorrow. HAHA. Kidding much.
Anyway, Let's move on to another topic.
I feel like shit.
You know, I've always wondered on why I'm always the one being hurt most, when I try so hard to make things work out. Maybe, I've just been trying too hard. Maybe, I'm just wrong and stupid, trying to prove people that there is something that's called forever.
Firstly, there's my best friend from my primary school. Despite promises to keep in touch, despite my several suggestions for an outing because I miss her, despite my hundreds of phone calls just to catch up with her, despite every single shit that I've done, I get turned down simply because she was too busy. I'm busy too. But I made time for you, despite new Friends, new school, new timetables. What makes us different? Oh. I forgot. I got replaced with someone else from your school. Okay, thanks, I get it. So I try for 2 years, Consistent phone calls, suggestions, to get turned down, and finally, reality hits. I lost my best friend, the one whom understood me most, who was there when I faced family crisis, whom I stood beside for when her dad was retrenched. Thanks. For replacing me. Friendship doesn't last forever, I get it now.
Secondly, my first love. The one that I'd never forget, the one that left the biggest scar on me, the one that brought me to the biggest rebound phrase ever. I was in secondary school, he graduated and entered poly. What happened after that? The good morning texts, the I miss you texts, the goodnight texts, they were all forgotten. Basketball, new friends, badminton, everything else replaced me. I was left with miserable texts that only told me of why you were busy. My texts, desperately telling you of how I missed you, how I loved you and wanted us to just, have a little time together, they were all completely ignored. Eventually, the relationship ended. Not because I stopped loving you, but because you've stopped trying while I tried so hard. I was hurt for the longest period of time. Why do I even bother to try when you're not trying? I try only to get hurt, I try only to get replaced and dumped along somewhere else. So, love isn't supposed to last forever too.
Then now what? Is life trying to tell me that as long as there's a change of environment, a change of your social circle, just a slight change of anything, and a relationship can fade away or be destroyed?
I believe so much, only to be slapped on the face. So many times, I can barely breathe anymore. Maybe, I'm just wrong. Wrong from the start.
Every Relationship will never ever stay strong, and they will only fade in time and changes. No matter how hard one tries, her try is futile.
She doesn't need constant reminders anymore.
She gets the whole picture now.
Side Notes
Congratulations on our Love Party today, me and ChengXuan has reached the Saffron Ring. See you online tomorrow, let's work hard.
And I wanna say Hi to
Xe, in case he's reading this. Don't worry, I'm doing fine, concentrate on being a good dentist. And don't go to England please!
That's all for today.
Love,
Natalie Ishot
