Saturday, May 5, 2012 1:47 PM
No Nat, things doesn't work out as easily as you want them to.
It's days like this that I feel somehow, suffocated. I've got that cringing feeling last night, that today's not really gonna be a great day.
Anyone felt like this before?
I just feel like blending into my walls, or hiding under my blanket for the whole day. Cause I feel like the whole world is swallowing me up.
And I know why I feel this way.
As I'm lying on my bed, blogging, I can still hear my father in the livng room, playing his "Plants Vs Zombies." I've been hearing the crunching of plants and zombies mumbling "brains", for the entire day. It occasionally interrupts my thoughts.
I wish I knew what was...Brains. going on in your mind.
Goddammit.
I simply do not understand how the sunflowers can look so happy when they're probably gonna be eaten up anyway.
Right.
So anyway.
I just told babyboy that Im gonna eat my lunch then bathe Hazel, but I figured out that I should blog first.
Don't you absolutely hate it when you find out that someone really isn't who they are? Like suddenly, they're all Barbies and Kens. I used to be like that at a point of time, just to, you know, 'fit in'. But then I got tired of it and eventually stopped trying anyway.
But we can't blame them, can we? It's like this society expects so much from us.
If we give up too early, we're not trying. If we don't give up at all, we're trying too hard. If girls put on makeup, they're fake. If they don't, they're plain. If we want to be alone, we're anti-social. If we have mix around with too many friends, we're trying to be popular.
And the list goes so on and so forth.
So everyone becomes the same, and really. One day we're all gonna wake up and realise that we're all clones.
Being fake is bad enough. But being fake in any kind of relationship?
Bang your head on the wall, and screw yourself a million times, please.
So I tweeted this morning,
"If you don't hurt after a relationship is over, you never really were in the relationship anyway."
Sounds familiar, yes?
That person simply goes back to leading his/her normal lives, like you've never existed. They go out with their friends, they tweet and update their status on how happy their lives are, and they eat the best stuff on earth and take pictures of them. But they never, ever, mention you.
Ouch.
Right now, it's like a battlefield in my mind, and I feel queasy just thinking about it. I'm at that point of life where I think too much, and a simple, simple, simple problem leads to a series of probably not gonna happen events but it still goes on anyway and the ending scares the shit out of me, and I feel upset.
Oh well.
You know what?
Actually, I think that the sunflowers in PvZ do smile for a reason.
I just imagined them saying,
"Dude, you're gonna die before you can even walk through one more grass tile."
Of course, they said it in their heads cause smiling while talking is kinda creepy.
So learn from them people, smile through that shit, cause you're gonna make it through.
And the same goes for you, Nat.
My dad just died in the game.
I heard the iPad screaming
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
HAHA, YOUR BRAIN JUST GOT EATEN, DAD.
Kay, time to go eat some brains.
And I love you, Hans.
Love,
Natalie Ishot
