Monday, May 14, 2012 10:19 PM
So, I'm not important to you anymore?
Hello earthlings, it's a really warm and humid Monday, and that's not helping with my mood at all.
So.
I'm kinda hurt and disapointed right now, as someone I loved just decided to chuck me aside. Like I never existed.
I should have seen the signs, ever since I became a substitude. I should have trusted my head, when it told me that I was nothing much to her. But somehow, and someway, the heart always convinces you to do something that would end up hurting you anyway.
Yea.
It's just painful on how you can tell someone of how much she means to you, and how much you miss her, only to be ignored. I thought we had something more. I thought we were close.
Or maybe, I thought wrong.
I'm just tired of how I'm always the one trying to salvage whatever's left of a relationship or friendship. I'm just tired of how I say my heartfelt feelings, only to find out that they were treated like shit. I'm just tired of trying so hard, to keep the ones I love close, only to lose them.
But who am I to complain, when everyone's tired too?
And so I waited for your reply, but it never came, and I doubt it would ever come. Because I really do mean nothing to you, right? All you ever said, they were fake too, right? About how we bonded so fast, and how close we were. Or maybe. Yea. We bonded too fast, because it was all fake.
I wish you knew of how much you've changed. I wish you knew of how much you were hurting me, and everyone else. I wish you knew of what you have becomed.
Don't expect me to be all nice anymore. Because I hate to be fake.
Funny how I start to realize that you're intentionally trying to hurt me. And how you never ever recognize my efforts. Only when I start crying my eyes out. Because reality fucks you in the face.
And next, I would like to go on about crying.
I've never perceived crying as a weakness, and it makes me wonder on why so many people think that it is.
I mean like, we're humans. We have eyes. And they're given to us so that we can see and cry. If our eyes were only created for sight, then we might as well be like goldfishes and never blink.
"Crying doesn't mean that you are weak. It just means that you have been strong for too long."
Sounds familiar? Mmhmm.
Stop holding everything in, and let everything out.
If you're gonna keep everything inside, I can promise, that one day, you're gonna blow up like a Voltorb.
Just wanna say thanks to babyboy for being my listening ear. And Gabriel, for trying to say stupid stuffs, just to cheer me up in school. And Hubert, for his concern.
And that's about it.
Till next time,
Love,
Natalie Ishot
