Tuesday, October 30, 2012 11:07 PM
I remember the rights that I did wrong.
Finally, an update.
I've definitely let my lazy bones get the better of me this time. I was getting afraid of my blog disappearing into thin air.
Things haven't been very good lately, and I'm having a lot in my mind right now.
There's this saying that goes,
"If you repeat the same mistake twice, it's not a mistake anymore. It's a choice."
It's pretty true, isn't it?
If you had already known its consequences, if you had already known of what would come to you, then wouldn't it be silly for you to commit the same mistake again for no reason?
Every mistake has its reason. No mistake is made twice, not when we're smart enough to stay away from trouble.
Then comes the question, what's the reason for committing the same mistake again?
Was it a cry for attention? Or was it a mistake that you felt was right to do? Or was it simply a lesson that
wasn't etched into your mind to begin with?
I don't know about you, but I know that
I hate pretending. I do what I deem best, and I absolutely hate people doubting me. Not when I've done my best. I'm not going to hide behind smiles and pretend that everything's okay when it's not.
I especially hate it when people bring up my past mistakes to try to hurt me. What's the purpose in that? If I'm supposed to move on and not repeat the same mistake twice, then why the hell are you using the same mistake to pull me down again?
Sometimes people don't make sense.
They say one thing and they do another. It's like how promises are made and so easily broken.
So many things mean
nothing now.
But then it comes down to only one point at the end of the day.
You live for yourself.
Solely, yourself.
Sure enough, your parents brought you up, and you appreciate them for that, but that's as far as it goes. If it's your dreams and your goals, then they have no say in it, much less others, because that's what you want to do. It's what you need to do. Not them.
When you make mistakes, you pick yourself up and you learn from them. You don't lurch in the past and live to put yourself in the shit you've caused. Your mistakes, your learning.
Whatever you choose to do will always have a consequence, and its up to you to face it.
You're in your own hands.
And with that, I'm going to turn in.
I'd like to say a very special thank you to my boyfriend, for always being there for me. At times I'd look at us, and I'd ask myself,
"Why me? Why this pyscho-problematic girl, why not others, why me?"
I'm not exactly the easiest to handle, and I really appreciate all that he has done for me.
Our seventh monthsary had just passed not long ago, and I'm just really proud to have him. (:
I love you baby.
Till then, folks.
Love,
Natalie Ishot
